


i'd rather fuel a fantasy

by worth_the_risk



Series: i could live by the light in your eyes. [1]
Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: Anxiety Attacks, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Pre-Relationship, Sharing a Bed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-25
Updated: 2016-07-25
Packaged: 2018-07-26 17:15:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,484
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7582864
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/worth_the_risk/pseuds/worth_the_risk
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>3:09 AM: Jack: bittle are you awake</p><p>3:09 AM: Jack: sorry that it’s so late shitty’s not home and i need somebody</p><p>3:10 AM: Jack: my door’s unlocked and i’m in my bed and i’m having an attack</p><p>Read: 3:10 AM</p>
            </blockquote>





	i'd rather fuel a fantasy

**_3:09 AM: Jack:_ ** _bittle are you awake_

 **_3:09 AM: Jack:_ ** _sorry that it’s so late shitty’s not home and i need somebody_

 **_3:10 AM: Jack:_ ** _my door’s unlocked and i’m in my bed and i’m having an attack_

_Read: 3:10 AM_

* * *

 Eric opened the door and peeked his head in. Jack was sitting on his pillows, tucked back into the corner created by the wall and his headboard. He was shaking like he was in a snowbank, head between his knees, arms wrapped around his legs. Tiptoeing across the room, Eric eased onto the bed next to him, touching his fingertips to Jack’s forearm.

Rattlesnake-fast, Jack grabbed Eric’s hand in his and squeezed hard. He was peeking over the pillow he was wrapped around, eyes wide and unfocused and tear-rimmed.

“Hey, Jack.” Eric dropped his voice to the soothing tone he used on his mama when she got like this. “I’m right here, I’m not going anywhere.” A jerky nod was his only response. “Do you need me to talk about what’s going on or talk about nonsense?” Jack squeezed his hand and took a shaky breath.

“Nothing’s g-going on...s’just happening. Happens sometimes.” He was clinging to Eric’s hand for dear life.

“Do you,” Eric paused, not wanting to make Jack uncomfortable. “Do you need me to hold you?”

Jack lifted his chin a little, watching Eric’s face. “Please.”

Eric scooted up so he was sitting against the headboard, letting go of Jack’s hand in the process. Jack pinched the sleeve of Eric’s shirt while he adjusted himself on the pillows. Bitty eased Jack’s upper body over into his lap. He locked his arms around the much larger man and rocked slowly, resting his cheek on Jack’s shoulder. “I can count breaths for you if you need me to.”

“Who do you..?” Jack shuddered. “Um.”

“My mama has real bad anxiety. Need me to count breaths?”

“Yes.” He sobbed, pressing his face into Bitty’s thigh.

Without further ado, Eric found Jack’s hand again and started counting. Jack was still shaking, but it started to ease. Once he had a little more control over his arms, he wiggled around until he could pull the comforter up over himself and Eric.

They were awkwardly pressed together, and Jack’s shoulder was starting to burn and ache from where it’d been folded under him for so long. He pressed his fist into the pillow next to Bitty’s hip and slowly pushed himself up until he was leaning over his friend’s lap. When he picked his head up, Eric’s face was inches from his own. Soft fingers brushed his hair back from his clammy forehead.

“E-Eric?” Jack screwed his eyes shut, anxiety rearing back and ready to gallop. Unfortunately for him, this meant that he missed the rather pretty blush that burst across Bitty’s face when he said his first name. “Would you. Um. Stay? In here. For the night. I'm a little calmer now, but I usually wake up a few more times after the first one and Shitty normally crashes in here but he's at Lardo’s and -”

“Of course, of course I'll stay. Do you want me to drag my mattress over or share your bed?” Eric’s eyes were wide and his hands were frozen where they'd been digging into Jack’s cramping lower back.

“I want to sleep next to you.” He sighed heavily and opened his eyes, staring into Bitty’s. No use in being dishonest when he'd been curled around him sobbing for the last fifteen minutes, and if there was ever a time to say it and get away with it, this was it.

Eric’s expression softened and his lower lip wobbled a little before he smiled and nodded. “Okay.” He reluctantly took his hands off of Jack and slid down under the blankets until he was stretched out on his side. He put his hands on Jack’s knees and tugged. “Come on.”

Jack groaned as he really moved for the first time in half an hour, slowly stretching out to his full height before tucking his knees back up toward his chest.

“I don't know how you managed to flatten my pillows so thoroughly while weighing in at all of eighty pounds, but I demand that you fix them,” Jack teased, voice soft and apologetic.

“Well seeing as I had a Canadian anvil in my lap, is it all that surprising?” Jack closed his eyes while Eric fussed with the pillows. “Do you need one of your pills, or a glass of water or anything?” His hand felt so small on Jack's shoulder.

Jack shook his head, but took Eric’s hand and wrapped it up in both of his. “Just this is good.”

Bitty tugged the comforter up over his shoulder and nuzzled down into the pillow. He shifted his weight towards the center of the bed, tucking his knee in between Jack’s calves and putting his other hand around his wrist.

Jack knew he was going to have to answer some questions in the morning. He knew already he'd deflect most of them because he didn't know the answers yet himself. There was no undoing what was happening, no ignoring how endearing the quiet squeaks Bitty’s nose made when he exhaled through it were, how nice it was to feel their pulses go from a counterpoint to in sync where their hands were tangled up. His heart should've been tripping over itself again by now.

“Stop thinking so loud, Zimmermann.” Eric yawned. “This is fine. Now, go to sleep.” He snuggled his face into the pillow, blond hair already a wreck.

“Thank you.”

“Mhm, now sleep.” He couldn't tell if Eric was reprimanding him or announcing his own intentions. He smiled either way.

He kept his breaths matched with his new bedmate’s, ignoring the sensation pooling in his stomach and echoing along each place their skin touched. He wasn't on the verge of panicking again; the unrest itching its way up his spine had nothing to do with his anxiety and everything to do with the young man snuffling into his pillow beside him.

He looked so soft around the edges - not that Eric was ever really a harsh presence, even when he was angry or struggling with something. The tired white of the street lamp sneaking under Jack’s blinds blurred the curve of his jaw, his shoulder, turned him into an impressionist sketch. He yawned and shifted, pulling his hands away to tuck them up under his pillow. Jack’s small smile faded at the loss of contact, and he scooted back across the bed to give Eric room to get comfortable.

“Mm-mm, no,” Eric mumbled. He grabbed Jack’s shoulders and pulled himself across the space that had widened between them. “Too far,” he sighed. He tucked his head under Jack’s chin and slid his leg up to notch in the gap his captain’s hip and ribs left.

Heart stuttering, Jack’s arm hovered over Eric’s waist. “This okay?” He ran his fingertips up and down Bitty’s back.

A small contented snore was his only answer. He wrapped his arm around Eric and hugged him close, buried his nose in thick blond hair, and closed his eyes.

* * *

“Jack?” The voice pulling him out of his sleep was muffled. “Jack, are you hungry?”

He opened one eye and squinted against the brightness filling his room. “What time is it?”

Eric stretched, still tucked under Jack’s arm and against his chest. “I’d guess it's about ten? Haus is still quiet, so it can't be much later than that.”

“It's already morning.” Jack propped himself up on his elbow and looked down at Eric. “Did I wake up again at all?”

“If you did, you didn't wake me. And I'm usually a very light sleeper.” Eric yawned and pressed his palms against the headboard, arching his back and stretching more deeply. “I think we both slept pretty well.” As if he suddenly realized where he was, he pushed away from Jack toward the edge of the bed. “So,” he mumbled through his blush, “you never answered me. Are you hungry?”

Jack’s hand was resting at the bottom of Eric’s ribs from where he’d been hugging him when he pulled away, and he squeezed softly. “Yeah, I could eat.” Bitty moved to sit up and Jack tightened his hold. “Wait.”

“What’s going on?” Eric’s cheeks were darkening and the sunlight behind him made his bedhead into a halo.

“Thank you,” Jack breathed. “For – for staying.”

The line of Eric’s shoulders tensed and he bit his lip before rolling back into Jack’s embrace, hitting against him hard enough to knock his breath out in a soft huff. “You’re one of my best friends, Jack. I’ll do anything I’m able to to help you.” His arms locked around Jack’s neck for an infinitely long moment before he sat and then stood up, smiling softly. “Pancakes?”

 

**Author's Note:**

> inspired by the troye sivan song "talk me down"


End file.
